So I figured I should do some body measurements and jump on the scale on the first day of my new diet. O.... M..... G........ I can't believe how freakin FAT I am! Why didn't anyone ever try to stop me???? Why didn't anyone ever say something? I know I can only blame myself, but I know in my heart that if people had come to me and voiced some concern about my weight and my eating habits, I wouldn't have gotten this big. I won't post my measurements or weight, but I can tell you that I weigh almost exactly TWICE what I should. UGH! I have a LOT of work ahead of me. This is going to suck big hairy donkey nuts.
I ate ok at breakfast. Had to skip the usual Sunday morning cinnamon rolls I always make. That was hard. It sucked. I REALLY wanted them. But I was good. For lunch, I ate a salad. Yeah... I had a SALAD for lunch. Anyone who knows me would probably reach over and feel my forehead if they had seen it. I kid you not - I ate raw vegetables as a meal. About an hour later, I was STARVING so I ate a piece of bread with butter. In my defense, it was whole wheat bread. I probably shouldn't have, but it was either that or some ice cream or potato chips or something. I figured wheat bread & butter was the lesser of the evils. Around 4:00, I was starving again. I ate half a cucumber. Yup. Once again, I managed to convince myself to bypass the foods I love in favor of eating a vegetable. And I don't even see how a cucumber is a vegetable, since it's mostly water. Probably not the best choice to try and fill myself up. lol For dinner, I had braised chicken breasts, cooked baby carrots, and mashed potatoes. I didn't even add the cream cheese to the potatoes - I used garlic instead. They didn't taste very good. The whole dinner was really bland and it made me sad.
I was still starving after dinner, and this is where I got into trouble. I was wrapping up the leftovers and started snacking on the leftover potatoes. I don't even want to know how much I ate, but it probably cancelled out the salad I had for lunch. So I'm back to square one. I kept thinking I needed to get on the exercise pedals, but things just kept coming up - cleaning, dishes, feeding the munchkin, doing laundry, etc. I kept saying "I'll ride right after I finish (fill in the blank)" but by the time I was done, I had forgotten all about riding. I know I'll need to find a way to incorporate exercise into this, or I'll never make my goal. Well, maybe I should actually set a goal first. My goal is not dying and not having a heart attack - that's a pretty good goal, eh?
It's hard to imagine that I will be doing this for months and months. It's a battle, and it's hard. I'm not sure I have the strength. I really need someone to support me, motivate me, and keep me going. *sigh* I just keep telling myself it's either this or dying, and I'd really rather not die. Time for bed now. The battle resumes tomorrow.
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