Guess what I didn't do last night? UGH! I swear, my mind has about a 12 second capacity. After 12 seconds, you may as well forget it. I think maybe I need to write out a schedule for my days so that I actually REMEMBER to do the things I need to do - like exercising. And making my salad for lunch. If it's not all ready and staring me in the face, it's too easy for me to say "Forget this" and make myself a giant bowl of pasta with butter & parmesan cheese for lunch. Sad, isn't it? That taking 20 minutes to make pasta wins out over taking 6 minutes to make myself a salad. I don't eat NEARLY enough vegetables so the salad is sort of a must. Although I have to admit, I ate a giant salad an hour ago and I'm already starving. I even put a hard boiled egg in it (protein) which is supposed to help fill you up. I recken my stomach is just too big to fill. But that WILL change.
This morning was a REALLY trying morning with the munchkin. Whoever coined the term "terrible 2's" must not have ever known a 3 year old. It's sort of a vicious cycle because I tend to eat to comfort myself. So when I am angry, sad, upset, etc - I eat. And I admit, a lot of times after munchkin and I have battled it out for several hours in a row, I just want a giant brownie sundae or a deep dish pizza. Yeah - back in the day I could eat an entire large pizza by myself and not feel stuffed. How pathetic is THAT? Or I would go through a drive-thru and order 2 value meals and eat them both myself. I'd make the 2 drinks different, as if, somehow, the person working there wouldn't put 2 and 2 together and realize that there WASN'T a second person waiting for their food - it was all for me. Looking back, it's hard to believe I used to do that. I mean, if I look at all the money I've wasted on fast food (which is a HUGE part of how I got to be as big as I am) I probably could have bought myself a Ferrari. Instead, I decided to "eat" that money and as a result I probably couldn't even FIT in a Ferrari. Go me. I DO have a snack, but I'm trying to save it for later. Ten whole almonds. Whoopee.
Tonight, I have counseling. I started going in hopes of learning ways to cope with my Panic Disorder and Depression. Recently, we've spent quite a bit of time talking about my weight and my desire to lose some of the excess poundage. I don't really get much out of our sessions, to be honest. But I'm hoping to have what I call the Karate Kid Effect - where you just grunt along, pissing and moaning about all the mindless work you have to do and then one day it will all just click, and I'll realize that the seemingly meaningless crap I've been doing all along really DID teach me something. Anyway, counseling nights always spell trouble because I usually end up going through a drive-thru and eating garbage that I shouldn't. Having an appointment right around dinner time is a bad idea when you're dieting, but it really IS the only timeframe that will work where I won't have to bring the munchkin with me. And let's be honest.... after dealing with Little Miss Attitude all day long, I kind of enjoy the break.
While typing that last paragraph, I just ate those 10 almonds. I'm still starving.
More protien! More protien! More protien! It probably won't help with ALL of your hunger, because it's just going to take your body awhile to get used to getting less food. So you'll probably just be hungry for awhile, period. But it will definitely help.
ReplyDeleteTry some beans (kidney beans, chickpeas, black beans) on your salads, or some nuts, or some diced chicken. More protein (and a bit of fat is good too) will keep you fuller longer (as I'm sure you already know). Don't forget that it takes a good 20 minutes for your brain to register that there's food in your stomach. So if you eat something and still feel hungry, give yourself 20 minutes and re-evaluate.
I know, easier said than done right? I need to heed my own advice too.